My chronic illness and periods.

This post is going to be a short one but this is something I've wanted to write about for a while, I've been a bit worried about posting it as I know a lot of people love their periods and this post is about why I hate to love mine personally and why having periods is a struggle for me! When I first started my periods I was 13 years old, I knew what to expect as my older sisters and my mum explained them to me, so when the day came that I got mine I wasn't scared I was more relaxed knowing that I knew what a period was and ways to help my period pains. As the years progressed my periods got heavier and longer and would make me feel very dizzy and sick, at this point I didn't know I had neurocardiogenic syncope so I just put up with it and carried on hiding my fainting and dizziness from the world. 

The Mirena coil, Me and my life update.

I was trying to think of what to write about but I wasn't getting anywhere until I realised I could just do an update on what's been going on with me, so here goes. I haven't been feeling very well over these last few months, the pains and cramps I've been having had got worse, they had been making me bleed (sorry tmi) and effecting my NCS a lot. My appointment for my Mirena coil has finally been as gone now, I would love to say it went well and was painless but the truth is, it hurt so bad that I ended up shouting out really loudly. I signed myself in and waited for my name to be called, they were a little late so my nerves had started to get the better of me. Once I went into the room I was asked loads of questions about medical history, family history and a few other things. They went over what other problems I've had with the Mirena them being, headaches, heavy bleeding, breast pain, bad cramps and a few other issues. The woman explained that before I have it taken out she would see what form of contraceptive would be best for me to use, turns out my only options are the copper coil (no way) and one kind of pill (which I chose).

I asked if it would be possible to get a smear test at the same time which she said was fine. After all the forms were done and my next form of contraceptive was sorted I lay down on the bed with my legs up and a speculum was inserted so that she could see my cervix better, the speculum was very uncomfortable and too big to go in as I was so tense so she had to use a smaller one, I had my smear test done first which didn't hurt at all, it was more of a strange sensation than anything, but that's not to say it doesn't hurt other people! The speculum was still left in so I could have my coil removed next, the doctor then told me she was just unhooking the strings, not sure what that meant but I didn't feel that, she then told me to take a deep breath in and then breath out. I was breathing the way I was told and as she pulled it felt as if my uterus was being completely pulled out, the pain was so bad I shouted out and could feel myself about to throw up and faint. She tried a few more times and told me that the coil had embedded itself slightly into the wall of my uterus which is why it's so painful and hard to get out, she said she would give it one more go and if she isn't able to get it out we would have to go down another root to get it out, but thankfully she was was able to get it out. As soon as I had it removed I started too bleed, it wasn't a period bleed it was from having the coil removed which is totally normal, I was told that there was some blood when she was taking swabs for my smear test but not to worry.

It's now been a week since I've had it removed, I've had bleeding and cramps which have been pretty bad, luckily they're starting to slowly subside now and I'm not in as much pain as I was before. I believe that the Mirena was fitted wrong and that is why I have had so much pain from it and discussed this with the doctor who removed it and she said this was more than likely the case as it was at an odd angle inside me and had started to embed in my uterus. My breast pain hasn't been as bad over the week as it normally is which I'm very relieved about, I'm hoping that my weight will start falling off again too. I ended up going up two dress sizes since having the Mirena, my bloating has gone down a lot and it's very noticeable, but my skin has broken out horribly this week, I'm sure it will clear up soon (I hope it does). I was warned that if my random bleeding still continues I need to go back so they can investigate it further, so fingers crossed that this won't happen! Now that I have the Mirena out of my life I feel so much more relaxed! Today is my one year anniversary with James and I'm so looking forward to spending many more years with him. He has put up with my moaning and crying over this dreadful coil, I'm sure he is just as glad as I am that it's gone for good now. I hope everyone had a lovely Valentines day yesterday, whether it was spent alone, with friends and family or with your loved one,

 I had a lovely breakfast in bed brought to me by James and got my joint Valentines and Anniversary present on Wednesday last week, James got me a Astro A30 headset which I had been swooning over for a while now and I got him some Pokemon badges and a picture of him and I framed. We ended up going to F&B for our meal but it wasn't a great experience, there was kids being naughty and loud and it was all around a little bit shit (sorry for swearing), I think next time we will either go a little later or go somewhere else! I'm also jumping on the Deadpool bandwagon and hopefully going to see it on Wednesday or the week after this, anyone seen it yet?

Elle May x

My anxiety kit

Like a lot of people these days I suffer from anxiety, I hide away and don't like talking to anyone about it. I feel like I'm being judged and if anyone sees me they will assume I'm just being lazy or making up excuses. Over these past months, I have used a number of things to make me feel better, I put these things in a basket next to me (you can use a box) so I have easy access to them, so this is what's in my anxiety kit.

1. My favourite game - My reason for this being in my kit is because gaming helps me unwind and block out all the worry and anxious feelings I get.

2. My Kindle - I download and read books from it, you could put your favourite book in the kit. Reading helps me think about the story rather than focusing on when is happening around me which is making me anxious.

3. My sheep teddy - There is just something very comforting about holding something soft and cuddly, I also have a penguin that British gas sent me, I cuddle it of a night time when I sleep.

4. Paracetamol - All that worrying and anxiousness gives me a huge headache, so I keep these near just in case a headache is coming on/ I have one.

5. Nail Varnish - I find painting my nails relaxing, I love giving myself a nice pamper to unwind.

6. Earphones - Listening to my favourite songs helps me block out all the mayhem that I feel is around me.

7. Beaded Bracelet - Feeling the beads and moving the bracelet around my wrist or in the palm of my hands makes me concentrate on counting each bead rather then what's making me anxious.

8. Fluffy socks - These are a bit worn now, I like to feel warm and comfy and they somehow make me feel safe.

 9. Perfume - Spraying my favourite perfume is another comfort thing, having a familiar smell makes me feel like I'm in a good environment.
 10. Chocolate - It's one of my favourite things in the whole wide world and when I eat it, it makes me feel so much better.

11. Hand cream - Having soft and moisturised hands makes me happy, rubbing my hands together is kind of soothing.

I want to make it clear that I'm not telling people they have to put these things in their kit, you can choose anything that makes you feel better. My anxiety is still very present these days but having things that help me, makes me feel as if I can overcome my anxiety one day. Let me know what you would put in your kit, feel free to do your own post on your kit too!

Elle x

Unique chocolate Valentine's gifts.

This is going to be a short post today, as I'm not feeling too good. I love chocolate but I love unique looking chocolate even more. Sometimes it's nice for someone to go out of their way to give you a gift that's a little different, even if that gift is chocolate and a little more expensive! I probably should cut down on the amount of chocolate I eat, I've tried to quit it once before but let's face it, it's yummy and addictive so I may as well enjoy it. Here are just a few yummy unique treats I have come across on Not On The Highstreet:

These Chocolates are £10 and made from Belgian white chocolate which is tinted with pastel colours and tiny gold hearts, they're not gluten free and may contain traces of nuts. I think they're a great idea and quirky for chocolates for Valentine's day.  

These chocolate bars cost £5.95 and are made with white Belgian chocolate, I'm not sure what kind of marshmallows are on top but I think the name of the bar fits perfectly. This bar isn't gluten free and also, may contain traces of nuts.

Emoji Chocolates
These Emoji chocolates made me chuckle, I'm sure your other half who loves emoji would chuckle about them too! They are on the expensive side with a price tag of £17 but they are hand painted with special paint. They're also made from Belgian white chocolate and aren't gluten free also, may contain traces of nuts. 

These are very prices, £29.95 for a box for 12 cake filled chocolates, it is filled with 12 different flavours (honey and brownie cakes in mixed flavours) some of these do contain nuts, so please be aware if you have a nut allergy like I do!

I find these skulls very pretty, I love the little crowns and the gold eye sockets, these cost £17.50 and come in a pack of 8. They are not gluten or dairy free and made from Belgian white chocolate and edible gold glitter, but if your partner is into skulls and pastel these chocolates are a perfect present.

I've had chocolate pizza before and it's lasted me a while, this is what I like most about it! You can choose your own toppings and it comes in a pizza box! The price tag is £15.50 which is a lot for a chocolate pizza, to see what ingredients it has please click on the title.

These chocolates remind are gorgeous I love that they're ombre but it makes them all the harder to eat! They cost £15 and would make a wonderful picture for Instagram, these chocolates are cookies too, filled with cream they were also made with Belgian white chocolate and tinted with pastel colours. Out of all the chocolates, these ones and the Robot chocolates appeal most to me (yes that was a hint!)

 I know not everyone likes Valentines day nor do they celebrate it, so why not get some unique chocolates for your partners anniversary or birthday instead!

Elle May x