boob pains.

Before I talk about what this blog post is to do with I would just like to say it's not a sexual post so if that is what you're hoping for, I'm sorry! Now lets get back to the post, a few months back I started to get an aching pain in my boo, I thought nothing of it as my boobs get achy when I'm due on my period, then after 3 weeks the pain got worse and my boob started to feel like it was burning. I tried my best to put it to the back of my mind but when it started to swell and I could feel a little lump I freaked out a little bit.

I put off going to the doctors for about 4 months, I shouldn't of done this as the longer I left it the worst the pain was. Eventually I gave in and booked a doctors appointment which was then cancelled and moved back another week, which meant I had to wait 3 more weeks for my doctors appointment, 3 more weeks of freaking out and worrying. The weeks flew by an d I had my appointment, I found out it wasn't with my normal GP as he was off sick so I was a little freaked out about a different doctor examining me. He was a very young doctor and reassured me that I shouldn't be embarrassed about the examination as it would be over in no time (which it was). As he was doing the examination I could feel the pain in my boob worsen so he decided not to push too hard, after he had finished he explained to me that the breast tissue does feel lumpy but soft which is a good sign and he couldn't feel no hard lumps. He explained that my coil could be the main course of this pain and that I couldn't get it removed yet until they rule out the coil being the cause, he referred me to a breast clinic who called me within 3 days of my doctors appointment and booked me in the breast clinic for the 21st of this month (yesterday).

My appointment has now been and gone, I was told there could be a 4 hour wait to be seen but luckily within 30 minutes of getting there I was seen and tested, I was also told I was getting a mammogram but later on found out I'm not old enough for one, you have to be 40 for a mammogram so I had an ultra sound instead. Before my ultra sound I saw the consultant who checked both my breasts and told me they feel very lumpy and she thinks my Mirena coil is the main cause of the pain. I went in to have my ultra sound and everything was clear, My breast tissue is inflamed and it is most likely down to the coil. I'm waiting for an appointment with the GP so I can sort out getting my coil removed. If the pain in my boob doesn't stop after the coil is removed I will unfortunately have to find a way to help the pain myself. I have to say it is a huge relief that everything that came back was clear, I'm not looking forward to getting the coil removed but I am looking forward to having my body back, since I have had this coil my weight has gone crazy, so hopefully I will be able to lose the weight again. This isn't the only issue I have had since having my coil fitted, I get terrible cramps and heavy bleeding, it has made my dizziness a lot worse and on top of that it's painful to do certain activities.

If you do have the Mirena in and you're getting pains in your breasts get it checked out, it could mean that it's not working for you and you may need to find another form of contraceptive that does work for you. I've decided I will go back on the pill, not sure which one it will be yet and hopefully it doesn't cause me any hormonal or weight gain issues! Has any one else had any problems with the Mirena coil before? I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Affordable Matt lip?

I love lipstick, but my biggest pet peeve is when I want to kiss, eat or even drink and it comes off,so I went on the hunt for some affordable matt lip colours. I popped into my local Superdrug and started my search. There wasn't much of a selection which I was disappointed with but I did managed to find a lip butter by Collection which happened to be matt. I was ecstatic and not really sure what colour to go for, one of the girls who worked in Superdrug suggested I try pumpkin pie, which was a wonderful shade on me (actually one of my favourite colours right now). This lip butter is pretty cheap, at £2.99 for a matt lip butter it's the cheapest one I have seen, I'm not sure how long these have been around but I'm glad that I have found them. The staying power of this butter is all right, it's best to use on lips that aren't dry other wise it will look very flaky once it dries on your lips, it has great pigmentation and is very easy to apply (although my lip butter keeps falling out) you can wear it very lightly on your lips or go over it a few times to get a more bright and dramatic colour, it has also made my lips very dry which I suppose I can't complain about seeing as it was so cheap. The biggest downside is the staying power isn't great it lasts about 2 hours, 3 at best and it comes off pretty fast if you're eating and drinking, overall I give this a 3/5, it's great for the price.

Next is Bourjois Rouge edition Velvet, This is my favourite out of the two, you apply it like a lipgloss and it goes on like a lipgloss but dries matt, I chose a deep red called red-volution (nice play on words there). Again it's best to not apply this on dry lips, it doesn't look as smooth and nice otherwise. This costs £8.99 which is still affordable and not too over priced in my opinion, they have wonderful staying power, I ate and drank and the colour stayed on for about 4 hours before it started to fade properly which is a let down as Boujois claim it has a 24 hour hold, although it stays on well it still comes off on glasses when drinking and can smudge, they also come in 15 different shades and are available to buy in boots, Superdrug and pharmacies which stock make up. I would love to try more shades and give this 4/5.

Ignore my bad eyebrows, I can't be bothered to sort them yet, if anyone has any other affordable matt lipsticks they can recommend me please leave a comment!

8 Photos of Happiness Tag.

I was tagged by the lovely Tania over at When Tania talks to Post 8 photos of happiness Tag, This one was hard for me to do because a lot of my photos are on a hard drive which I can't find but anyways here are the rules:

Rules and explanations of this tag

Thank your nominator/s and link them in your post.

Link the creator:  WHEN TANIA TALKS

Post your 8 photos of happiness (the photos can be anything that represents a moment, object, place or feeling that makes you happy).

Pop in a brief description of the photo, why you chose it or let the photos do the talking.

Spread the happiness and tag up to 10 other bloggers.

1. This was back in 2009 when it snowed on February 3rd, it has snowed in years since (except last year) and I can remember how I ended up building the snowman by the back gate so no one could open or close it and the next day someone has knocked it over.

2. I went to Dairyland and come across this little piggy who broke the rules and couldn't decide if it wanted to be inside or outside the gate, the little cutie kept walking under the bottom bar.

3. This was not long after I got Gizzy, this picture always makes me smile because she was rolling around on the bath matt looking too cute for words, she is the best little cat I could ask for!! 

4. I went to Bath to see The Roman Baths which I have wanted to see for years, they were beautiful! I love old buildings I find it fascinating and love hearing about their history.

5. These two Alpacas making funny faces, I love Alpacas, they are one of my favourite animals. I came across these one day when I was out with my parents, it was alpaca day in a field next to the Griggs store.

6. My sister Stephanie and I as babies, this is one my favourite pictures of her and me together, she always gave me kisses. We are only a year apart and have grown up very close.

7. This is Bodmin moore, me and a few friends decided to go hunt for some snow! This was in February and even though it was freezing and I fell over chasing sheep I had a great day, I even went to see some caves.

8. Last but not least, This picture of James and me. I love it! It was taken at his best friends wedding and is one of the first pictures we took together.

I tag:
Nicole from Mrs Jeebys survival kit
Claire from Life of Claire Jones
Lauren from Sweetened Sour
Kirsty from Lipstick and Coffees

10 Christmas activities for couples.

This year I shall be cooking James and I are spending Christmas together, I'm really excited because he actually suggested it and I feel it's a great opportunity to get to know him even better! My main problem on Christmas is that I don't want to be stuck in front of the TV or the oven most of the day, I want to have some fun activities for both of us too do, So here are a few that sound fun!

1. Treasure hunt.
I know that this sounds pretty childish but I actually love treasure hunts, especially Easter hunts! So my idea for this is too leave little clues around the house or room along side little sweets or a tree decoration and once they have found the treasure it could be an extra present, drink, dessert or a movie.

2. Baking!
I know Christmas day is full of sooo much food but I thought why not get a build your own ginger bread house kit, or a cake kit and cook together, I love baking with James we are always baking yummy goodies and I was thinking about baking chocolate brownies together and having them for our main dessert after Christmas dinner.

3. Christmas movie clip game.
I may not love Christmas movies but it would be great fun to mash together some little clips from Christmas movie and have your other half try and guess which movie it is, I'm sure a lot of people will say Home Alone several times before finally getting it right!

4. Pin the nose on the reindeer.
Yes this is a kids game but after a fair few drinks it's bound to be extremely fun and funny, the loser has to do the washing up!

5. Get a disposable camera.
I love this idea, buy a disposable camera and snap funny, cute, weird pictures of you and your other half together, once they are developed you can use some of the pictures to make your own calender or advent calender for the next year!

6. Old school gaming.
If you have old school consoles such as the N64 or dreamcast, get it out and have a gaming session with your other half, for me it would bring back some great memories of my childhood and hopefully James will let me win!

7. Build a fort.
Get inside the fort with a mug of hot chocolate whilst having a nice natter or even a nap, I know I said I don't want to be stuck in front of the TV all day but watching a Christmas movie from inside of a fort sounds wonderful.

8. A jar full of notes.
On the run up to Christmas, both write 25 highlights from your year and stick them in a jar, before you do be sure to put your initial on the back so your other half reads the ones with your initials, then chat about why they were your highlights.

9. Go for a stroll.
I prefer going for a little walk before dinner is cooked, I end up feeling so full and bloated after so it makes me not want to go anywhere. But just enjoy the silence around you, normally there is hardly anyone about on Christmas day which makes it perfect for you to appreciate your surroundings just a bit more.

10. Make your own crackers to use for new years day.
I don't know if anyone else does this, but my family normally have crackers left over from Christmas or they buy extra so we can use them on boxing day and new years at dinner time, I would love to make my own just so they have extra little gifts in for my partner.

I'm not lazy, I have a chronic illness.

When people tell me I look perfectly normal and that there is nothing wrong with me I always end up rolling my eyes so far to the back of my head that they get stuck (ok nearly all the way to the back of my head). I have an invisible chronic illness, meaning mine isn't physical, mine is only physical when I pass out which I try to hide form others, how do I hide it? I try and avoid going most places that involve me having to stand up, such as shopping, hanging out with friends, going out for drinks if there is no where to sit or rest I won't be there. There have been many times that I have tried to push on and make myself stand but this only makes things worse for me, I get terrible headaches and feel sick (even end up being sick) I feel dizzy every single day of my life.

I get told that surely they can do something to make me better, just take medication and you will be fine. That isn't how it works, it's a long and stressful road trying to control a chronic illness, especially now my cardiologist has told me he can no longer do anything to help me, I feel lost and have no idea what I'm suppose to do now. I just want to be normal, I want be able to hang out with people with out having to find a chair to sit down on, or lie on the floor, I want to be a normal 27 year old. My main problem is that I have a chronic illness as well as a heart condition and the two don't mix together at all, I was talking to someone a few years back who said and I quote "why not just use a wheelchair if you faint standing up all the time", that really isn't the answer for me, I faint sitting and standing, bathing or showing, my Neurocardiogenic syncope has got worse the older I get and all I want is to have some control over my body.

I put on weight and then I lose it, exercising is very hard and exhausting for me, right now I'm trying to lose weight again because after my pregnancy I gained weight very quickly, HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) may of made me lose weight due to throwing up constantly but as soon as I had the termination the weight came back very fast even though I wasn't eating that much at the time, now I'm eating normal meals (trying to at least). I keep getting told to get up and move around and stop being lazy, apparently I'm making myself more ill by being lazy when in reality it's bloody hard to get up and move around, I cry, I get depressed, I take my anger out on others but at the end of the day It's not me being lazy, It's me trying to not faint on a day to day basis. 

I do have a wonderful support network and my boyfriend doesn't make a big deal when I faint, he treats me just like I have tripped or something which I like because I don't want attention drawn to the fact I have NCS I just want people to understand that I have it, I can't change it and when I can't go somewhere It's not because I can't be bothered, It's because my body can't deal with it. So if you're a friend or family member reading this, please don't get mad at me if I can't come and visit, or come on that shopping trip you wanted us to take, If I say I'm not feeling up to it, It's the truth, It's not me being lazy. I feel so much better for getting that off my chest!